Past to Present
by miss atari
Summary: Axel reminisces about the day he met Roxas— the day everything changed. 8/13 dedication. AR; fluff.


late story for akuroku day is late, but in my defense, there's still a few hours left because of the west coast and hawaii.

i hope you guys enjoy, i had fun writing it.

italics are past events/memories. sorry for the confusion!

warning: fluff. language.

* * *

Axel watched him as he slept, his gaze soft and full of love. Roxas stirred slightly, rolling onto his back and stretching out his legs with a lightly pleasured groan. Being able to see the blond in such a vulnerable position didn't happen often, but when it did, Axel took it for everything it was worth. The tiny puffs of breath that escaped his mouth, the peaceful expression, and the way he curled the blanket into the palm of his hand— it was all worth losing sleep over. Axel knew it would be a while before he'd get to see Roxas in such a state again; his insomnia made it difficult for him to sleep and the extra stress from work didn't help either.

They'd been together since high school. Junior year, to be exact. Nobody thought they would last long, but Roxas— determined to hold onto the only person he'd ever fought for —argued with them; told them that he never doubted their relationships, so he would appreciate it if they'd stop doubting his. He would make it work, no matter what obstacles were placed before them. Axel was ashamed to think that he'd been one of those people with doubts. The person he was at seventeen wasn't someone to be proud of; he hadn't been worthy of Roxas then and he still didn't think he was.

Of course, the blond thought otherwise and Axel couldn't have been happier that Roxas decided to throw all inhibitions into the wind and attempt to go after what no one else could obtain. To say that everyone was shocked when their relationship lasted through the few years left of high school and the full four years of college— where they attended different universities —was an understatement. They weren't just shocked; they were awestruck, confused, ready to question everything they knew about life. Sora had been the worst, but Roxas told him to stop spending so much time thinking about what they had and focus on what he didn't have. The memory made Axel chuckle.

Axel's eyes left the slumbering blond and found purchase on the small box resting atop of his knee, his fingers caressing the velvet casing. If he'd been asked back then when he would get married or if he even thought he'd ever be husband material, Axel would've laughed in the person's face with a quick 'no'. Roxas changed all of that on one fateful day and that frightened Axel as he thought back on the day Roxas confessed his undying love to the easily angered, rebellious, redhead.

_School was the bane of his existence; nothing exciting happened, his friends were breaking away to do their own thing, and he was failing. Axel hated being pent up in a building all day when all he really wanted to do was stretch his legs and escape the prison that he'd been involuntarily subjected to for the past ten years. If he hadn't promised his older brother that he'd stick it out, Axel would have dropped out when he realized that option had been available. _

_ "Hey, Axel," Demyx said as he sat down beside the redhead, a bottle of water in his hand and a curious look flitting across his face. "Did you hear?"_

_ "Hear what?" Axel asked, pausing his ipod._

_ "There's some kid looking for you," Demyx told him. "Really cute. I think he's Sora's brother or something."_

_ "Okay? Am I supposed to care?" Axel questioned. It wasn't like he had reason to care, considering the fact that he and Sora weren't exactly on friendly terms. Also, he didn't even know that the brunet had a sibling, let alone one that attended school with them. Axel knew practically everyone in their grade, so that meant he had to be a freshman._

_ "Word is that he told a friend that you guys are dating or something, it's been going around all day." Demyx said like it was most obvious thing in the world. "I'm surprised you haven't heard."_

_ "I'm not," Axel retorted. "He wouldn't be the first person to start some bullshit rumor. I block those out."_

_ Demyx laughed as he opened the bottle and took a sip. "Any ideas on what you're going to do about it?"_

_ "Tell him to fuck off," Axel responded. "Crush any dreams of us being together. I don't know."_

_ "That's a little rude," Demyx offered with a grin, adding as an afterthought, "I wouldn't expect anything different from you."_

_ "So, what's the kid look like anyway?" Axel asked. "And, what grade is he in?"_

_ Demyx opened his mouth to speak, and if Axel had known any better, he wouldn't have listened to a word a said. It only piqued his curiosity even more._

Axel leaned back against the headboard, one leg dangling off the side of the bed and the other stretched out down the length of the black comforter. Gently and with much practice, Axel ran his hand through soft, golden locks. The pads of his fingers barely touching his scalp as he slowly brought his hand down, mapping out the familiarity of Roxas' face and relishing in the fact that he'd almost given him up. God, he'd been so stupid.

He seriously needed to thank Demyx one of these days for shedding light on a little rumor that had been started; even after six years he hadn't bothered to offer his appreciation to his best friend.

_The rest of lunch went by like it normally did. Zexion stopped by to talk to Demyx, Larxene pulled Marluxia over to the table in attempt to coax Axel into a threesome later that evening after school let out. Of course, like every other time she asked, Axel denied her with claims that neither of them could handle his sexiness. This earned a snort from Zexion and a short, annoyed laugh from Marluxia as he explained to the redhead that maybe Larxene couldn't handle him, but he sure could._

_ Axel seriously doubted that. Not a single person had been able to keep his interest, and he'd been with a lot of people— both male and female. Sadly. High school students couldn't keep his attention longer than a week, if even that. Had Axel known that one day he would be eating his own words, he probably would have kept his mouth shut._

_ "So, I hear you have a secret admirer," Larxene said._

_ "More like a secret boyfriend," Marluxia interrupted, causing Larxene to correct herself with a small laugh._

_ "I just found out," Axel told them. "Demyx told me."_

_ "How is it that everyone else knows about it and you don't?" Zexion asked, gripping the table and leaning back so that he could look at Axel._

_ "Guess I don't care enough." Axel simply shrugged._

The box in his grasp felt like it weighed a ton; riddled with promises, secrets, and laced with pure, undying love. Axel knew what it meant and he was ready to take the next step, but he didn't think that one small ring could offer Roxas everything. Roxas deserved so much more than a white gold band and a small, fixed diamond.

Roxas deserved the sun and the moon; each star in the sky and everything Axel knew he couldn't give him. The blond deserved someone worthy of his time, of his love— someone that would die old with him, offer him a life he couldn't have ever imagined. Axel didn't think he could give him these things, but he was damn sure willing to try. Even if it didn't work, at least Axel would know that he tried and that he gave Roxas everything and more; they would fall apart gracefully and without hard feeling, because that was how Roxas came to work over time and Axel would watch the blond move on with his life and someone much more deserving.

But, for the time being, Axel felt that he could selfish.

_"Hey!" Axel shouted at Sora as he passed by his classroom._

_ "What's up, Axel?" Sora asked, one hand sliding into the pocket of his jeans and the other holding onto the strap of his carrier bag._

_ "Cut the shit," Axel sighed. "Where's your brother?"_

_ "Roxas?"_

_ "I guess...?" Axel answered, unsure of himself. He'd only just found out about Sora's brother— Roxas —an hour ago._

_ "Why do you need him?" Sora tilted his head to the side._

_ "I know you've heard the rumors," he responded, placing a hand on Sora's back and pushing him forward, indicating that Axel wanted to walk while he found out Roxas' next class. "I want to squash them before anything gets out of hand, y'know? I don't want anything to happen to him, especially not because of me or some stupid rumor he may or may not have started."_

_ "Roxas doesn't start rumors, Axel." Sora deadpanned. "In fact, he rarely talks to anyone in order to start them."_

_ "Then how come I'm hearing all this shit about your little brother and a relationship I have with him? His name is written all over it," Axel pointed out, growing increasingly annoyed. Perhaps his weak attempt to look out for Roxas wasn't the best way to go about nipping the rumor in the bud._

_ "I don't know, man." Sora said. "I can't tell you want to do or who started it, but I know it wasn't Roxas."_

_ "Can you tell me where to find him, at least?" Axel asked, pausing at the corner between the math and english halls._

_ "You're not going to hurt him, are you?"_

_ "What? No," Axel shook his head. "I can't beat on some kid who may or may not be innocent." Sora hadn't meant it in a physical context._

_ Sora eventually told Axel where to find his brother— his twin, in fact —and that he probably wouldn't get any information out of him. Roxas hated talking to people, despite the fact that his name was clearly written with sharpie all over the rumors floating around school._

Axel could still remember the uncertainty that was uncharacteristically plastered on Sora's normally cheerful face. It didn't suit him and it made the redhead question the entire thing. Was finding out who Roxas was really worth the trouble? Was putting an end to a rumor that would die down by itself worth it? Why was Axel getting so worked up over something that never bothered him before?

Easy.

Yes, finding out who Roxas had been worth the trouble. It had also been worth it to attempt to put down the rumor before it had a chance to become more, but things didn't work out as well as planned and he was thankful that it hadn't. And, after much thought— over the years, of course —Axel was finally able to answer the hard question of why he let that one rumor get to him.

Axel had seen Roxas before, but only once. The redhead first laid eyes on the blond when he was at party with Sora. Roxas was behind the wheel, aggravation playing on his face as Sora drunkenly got into the car and slammed the door shut; Roxas was his designated driver. Axel could distinctly remember how Roxas looked at him that night through the window— he was disgusted that someone let Sora get so wasted. Axel wanted to wipe that look of his face, because in his intoxicated mind, the blond wasn't supposed to look murderous. No, he was supposed to look like the angel Axel thought he was the second he pulled up.

Of course, when Axel woke up the following morning with a hangover on the floor of someone's living room, he forgot all about the boy that picked Sora up the night before.

_Axel watched him as he moved around the library, pulling a book off the shelf and adding it to the pile that was collecting on the cart being pulled behind him. Roxas had a free period and he used it to help out in the library. Axel found this behavior odd, but Sora informed him that Roxas did it because he didn't feel like wandering around the halls absentmindedly. Axel caught himself wondering why Roxas didn't use the time to do his homework._

_ "Hey," Axel said, tapping Roxas on the shoulder._

_ Roxas jumped, holding the book in his hand close to his chest. He turned around to look at the intruder, eyes widening as he caught sight of spiked, crimson tresses and a slightly nervous smile. With his heart beating frantically, Roxas placed the book down on the cart and backed away._

_ "What do you want?" Roxas asked, voice quiet and nearly lost against the deafening silence of the school library._

_ Axel stared at him. Demyx hadn't been lying when he said that Roxas was cute. Hell, he was more than just cute and Axel couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't seen him before. Roxas would've definitely been on his list of 'people I must fuck before I graduate'. Axel mentally added him to said list._

_ Roxas was perfect. His eyes were a different shade of blue, completely unlike Sora's eyes; they held more emotion, more pain, more frustration than Axel had ever seen before. His hair, while not styled like his brother's had been, fit his face and the color contrasted with his pale skin. Roxas was the opposite of Sora, and fuck, he was beautiful._

_ Axel scratched him off the list._

_ "To talk," Axel answered after a couple awkward minutes of just staring at Roxas. He was sure that the blond could see the light blush dusting across his cheeks._

_ "I didn't start it," Roxas blurted out before he could stop himself._

_ "Then who did?"_

_ "I don't know," the blond said. He knew, but Axel didn't need to know that. "A friend or something."_

_ "Why would a friend start something like that?" Axel asked._

_ "To get my name out there," Roxas offered._

_ "What the fuck does that even mean?"_

_ Roxas sighed softly and turned around, motioning for Axel to follow him as he retreated to the back of the library. It was a place that students used when they had to work on projects during study hour or somewhere they would go to when they wanted to skip a certain class. Axel blinked and walked behind Roxas, eyes following the soft sway of his hips._

_ "It means that, uh..." Roxas paused, leaning back against a circular table in the corner. "Well, I... you see," he was getting nervous, his walls were starting to crumble. The entire thing had been completely random; he had no intentions of ever telling anyone how he felt about Axel, but things happened and words were said, and things escalated from there. "Ikindasortalikeyoualot."_

_ Axel stood before him with his hands in his pockets. Roxas was shorter than he was, but not by much— his height complimented Axel's stature. There were so many things filtering through Axel's mind as he watched a look of complete frustration flutter across Roxas' face. The darkening blush didn't help resolve anything. In fact, it made things worse._

_ Axel leaned forward, his face mere inches from Roxas. "What was that?"_

_ Roxas blinked and, without thinking, he met Axel halfway and closed the small gap between them as he closed his eyes. Roxas' lips were soft, moist, and they moved against Axel's with much ease. The kiss was short, nothing more than closed lips on another set of closed lips. Roxas pulled away with a gasp, his heart hammering in his ears and he instantly wished he hadn't done anything._

_ "What was that for?" Axel asked. He looked down at Roxas with a calculating gaze. "Why'd you do that?"_

_ "I... don't know," Roxas said softly._

_ "You kissed me," the redhead pointed out. "You can't tell me you don't know why you did it."_

_ Roxas could feel Axel's scrutinizing gaze on him._

_ "I love you," Roxas whispered truthfully. "I have for a while now."_

_ Axel stepped back, shaking his head. That wasn't what he wanted to hear. On the contrary, Axel wanted to hear that it was a small crush, something that could be easily forgotten and pushed back to the depths of Roxas' mind. It wasn't supposed to be love— love made everything harder._

_ "I can't," Axel told him. "You can't. It won't work."_

_ Axel immediately regretted his words as Roxas' face fell; blue eyes clouding with unshed tears and he was visible trembling. Roxas looked absolutely broken. Axel told __Sora that he didn't want to hurt Roxas, that he wanted to end things before the rumor got out of hand, but he did exactly what he didn't want to do.__ Axel hurt him._

_ In his defense, it was better that Axel did it before he allowed Roxas to get his hopes even higher._

_ "W-why not?"_

_ "Just trust me," Axel said as he turned around and began walking off._

_ "At least... think about it?" Roxas asked, breathing deeply and trying to calm his nerves._

_ "I will," he lied. "But, nothing good will happen."_

_ Roxas could only nod as Axel exited the back area, wincing when he heard the thick, wooden door shut behind him. He allowed himself a moment as he fell to the floor, arms wrapped around his body as he cried. The blond mentally cursed Kairi for telling him that he had a shot with Axel; he should have listened to everyone when the rumor started up earlier that morning. Why had he been so stupid? He knew he was going to be rejected, but he hadn't intended for it to hurt as bad as it did._

_ Axel, for all it was worth, sat outside the library and waited for the bell to ring so he could see Roxas when he went to head toward his last class. He felt like the asshole that everyone made him out to be— and with good reason. Axel wanted to make things right; for the first time he found himself second guessing himself and what he wanted._

Axel never did find out who started the rumor, but it really didn't matter, even though he figured he needed to thank them as well.

A week after the ordeal Axel found that he couldn't stop thinking about the boy he rejected that day in the library. Axel couldn't stop seeing Roxas' face when he closed his eyes and he couldn't stop feeling a phantom kiss every time he saw Roxas in passing as he walked down the halls— Axel was aware that he was there and he sought him out any chance he got. The way Roxas looked at him, blue eyes dull and brimming with tears, it hurt and he hated knowing that he made that happen.

It took him a while to finally realize that the inevitable happened— Axel fell hard for Roxas. It shocked his friends, seeing as they didn't think Axel was capable of loving someone other than himself. But, it happened. It was weird, different, and foreign, but it was welcomed.

"Hey," came a groggy voice, effectively breaking Axel from his reverie.

Green eyes glanced down as Roxas yawned. "Hey yourself."

"Why," another yawn, "are you still awake?"

"Couldn't sleep," Axel murmured, turning to open the bedside table. He placed the box in the drawer; it could wait.

"How come? That isn't like you," Roxas scooted closer towards him. A hand gingerly squeezed Axel's clothed thigh.

"Thinking about the day you confessed."

"That was a disaster," Roxas said with a smile.

While that may have been true, Axel wouldn't change the day they met— the day Roxas confessed —for anything.

* * *

yes? no? too much? not good enough? lemme know! 

review, please. thank you.  
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V


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